The books and tools we actually recommend to families
Everything on this page is something Matt recommends in real conversations with real families — nothing is here because someone paid to be here.
Read this first — how this page makes money. Some links below are affiliate links, which means if you buy through them, No More Enabling earns a small commission at no extra cost to you. Every affiliate link is marked. Free resources are marked too, and they're listed right beside the paid ones.
What we will never do: we do not accept referral fees from treatment centers, and no facility can pay to be recommended by us. Where your loved one goes for treatment should never depend on who paid whom.
Before you buy anything — come to The Family Squares
Sober Helpline's free weekly family support group, hosted live by Matt. Bring the question that's keeping you up at night and talk it through with families who get it. No cost, no signup fee, no catch — just Monday nights.
Books that change how families think
If you only do one thing this week, read one of these. They're listed in the order most families should read them.
Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change
AffiliateThe book for families who've been told "detach or you're enabling" and felt something was missing. Evidence-based, compassionate, practical.
Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening
AffiliateThe family-friendly guide to CRAFT — the most researched approach for families of people who refuse treatment.
Codependent No More
AffiliateThe classic on losing yourself in someone else's addiction — and finding your way back. Millions of family members recognized themselves in this book first.
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No
AffiliateNot addiction-specific — which is exactly why it works. The mechanics of holding a line with someone you love, from a faith-informed perspective.
The Language of Letting Go
AffiliateDaily meditations for family members. One page a day, for the mornings when the fear is loudest.
The intervention shelf — Jeff & Debra Jay
When the conversation has to become an intervention, this is the family of books Matt points families to. The Jays wrote the modern playbook for loving, structured intervention.
Love First: A Family's Guide to Intervention
AffiliateThe definitive guide to planning a loving, structured family intervention — letters, teams, bottom lines, and what happens after yes or no.
It Takes a Family: Creating Lasting Sobriety, Togetherness, and Happiness
AffiliateStructured Family Recovery® — a clear system for the year after treatment, when most families quietly fall apart or drift back to old patterns.
No More Letting Go: The Spirituality of Taking Action Against Alcoholism and Drug Addiction
AffiliateA direct challenge to "detach and wait for rock bottom" — the case for loving action, made with both evidence and heart.
Aging and Addiction: Helping Older Adults Overcome Alcohol or Medication Dependence
AffiliateThe overlooked crisis — parents and grandparents dependent on alcohol or prescriptions, and the adult children who don't know how to raise it.
Navigating Grace: A Solo Voyage of Survival and Redemption
AffiliateJeff Jay's memoir — a solo Atlantic sailing voyage woven with his own recovery story. Not a how-to; a why-to.
Support that costs nothing
These aren't affiliate links. They're here because families need them, and because a recommendations page you can trust has to include the free options too.
Al-Anon Family Groups
FreePeer support meetings — in person and online — for anyone affected by someone else's drinking. Alateen serves teens.
Find a meeting →SMART Recovery Family & Friends
FreeScience-based, CRAFT-informed support meetings for family members — a good fit if the 12-step language never landed for you.
Find a meeting →FindTreatment.gov
FreeThe federal treatment locator. No ads, no placement fees, no call-center middlemen — search by location, payment type, and level of care.
Search treatment →Practical tools for the house
Unglamorous, useful things families ask us about every week.
Medication lock box
AffiliateA locking box for prescriptions in the home. Securing medications is a boundary you can hold without saying a word.
At-home multi-panel drug test kits
AffiliateUsed well, testing isn't surveillance — it's the trust-but-verify structure some recovery agreements are built on.
Naloxone (Narcan)
FreeIf opioids are involved, naloxone in the home is not optional. Available over the counter, and free by mail in many states.
The tools we built ourselves
OursSober Helpline is our family support app — daily check-ins, boundary tools, an AI practice partner for the hard conversations, and a direct line to Matt when things escalate. The free Boundaries Course runs by email. These are ours, so no affiliate games: if you buy, we're the ones you're buying from, and we're the ones accountable to you.
Full disclosure. As an Amazon Associate, No More Enabling earns from qualifying purchases. Affiliate commissions help keep this site's 180+ articles free and ad-light. Prices are the same for you either way.
We choose what appears on this page first, then look for an affiliate program second — never the reverse. No treatment provider, rehab, or telehealth company has paid for placement anywhere on this site, and we do not accept per-admission or per-lead referral fees.
This page is educational and is not medical advice. In an emergency, call 911. For mental-health crisis support, call or text 988.